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I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m kind of a prick.  It’s not my fault per se – I just think I’m kind of a dick all the time.  And I think it’s because of my penis.

Let me explain – I’m motivated by my penis.  When it wants something, I want it too.  When it’s angry, I’m angry too. When it’s happy….you get the idea.  In fact, about half of the reason I do things is because of my down there dude.  I’m completely controlled by my wang chung!

I think it takes a certain amount of enlightenment to acknowledge this.  Civilized creatures would say this is not a good thing – that I should rise above.  Of course, I have to make non-peep related decisions at work and at home.  I can use my brain.  It’s just the other one is VERY convincing sometimes.

And women always bemoan this like they hate it.  “Oh, you’re just thinking with your prick” or “use the head on top of your shoulders to think”.  Yea, Yea.  But then when you want something from us, you conveniently try to convince us using which head again?  Why are you not rubbing my eyelids when you want to ask to go out to dinner tonight?  Because you know what body part is really in charge.

Why do I go to work?  To make money, so I can have sex with my wife.  Why do I do the laundry?  So my wife will have more free time…and hopefully use it to have sex with me.  Why do I go to the gym?  You know.  Why do I drink too much beer?  To drown the hurt inside when I don’t have enough sex.

Why do I have kids?  I think most of you know how that happened.

I’m just a prick, and not ashamed to admit it.  Maybe a little ashamed, but my boss in the trenches tells me to be proud of it, so I’m going to listen to the little guy.  He’s very smart.

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