• BRANT - n. "Web Rant, usually written by angry middle aged men." (Some material may not be suitable for younger audiences - viewer discretion advised)
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Spring is Sprung

Sorry to all my followers – I took a needed spring break.

I did it up right this spring break!  I did not, however, chase coeds in bikinis and shotgun beers.  That might have been fun, but it’s not my life now.  But it’s still a blast!

 

This spring break I, in no particular order, got blotto drunk and made out, sat outside and read a book for hours, went for a bike ride with the kids, talked for hours with a friend, watched all of season one of “Game of Thrones”, didn’t write one blog, laughed at something ridiculous the kids did, made love to my wife (pretty well I might add), and got a new tattoo.  And I might have drank a few beers in my off time.

 

I have to say, my 30’s are pretty fun.  Maybe I’m setting the bar too low, but I really think this is the life.

 

The problem with the 20’s is there is a frenetic pace to the whole thing.  Like we have to get as much partying in as possible because it will be all over soon.  I know I got more wasted during 4 years of college than I have in the last 10 years after.  But it’s better, because now I REMEMBER the asses I rubbed up against while we’re drinking and dancing.  Before it was all a blur.  And I want to remember those asses!

 

But now the break is over.  Back to the grind.  But there’s still the weekend to look forward to!  Dirty 30 continues!

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The Snooze Button Antichrist

Everyone is worried about the end of the world.  If I hear one more time that someone thinks the president or a presidential candidate or a possible secretary of treasury might be the antichrist, I’m going to go all 666 on someone.

The antichrist is supposed to come out of nowhere.  Someone everyone least expects.  It’s not going to be a high level politician.  Those guys are too douchey to be the antichrist anyway.  The real antichrist is right in our bedrooms as we speak.

No, I’m not talking about your wife (well, maybe yours Larry), I’m talking about a cancer in our rooms that is spreading globally.  In fact, when it reaches the remote villages of Africa, I believe the human race is doomed.  Yes, I’m talking about the snooze button.

Think about it – what all could mankind have accomplished if the snooze button didn’t exist?  We’d probably on Mars right now if those scientists didn’t take that extra half an hour each morning, trying to get up but taking “just 10 more minutes” of snooze time.  And we all know it’s a worthless amount of sleep – it does nothing for our bodies.  It just delays the inevitable.  And steals our eternal souls.

But I’m powerless against it. At 4 in the morning, when I’m supposed to get up to exercise, I know it’s there.  Waiting for me like a hit of crack – just ten more minutes.

Screw you, snooze button.  You may herald the end of the world for us all.  But I don’t have to like it.  Now excuse me, I’m going to get just a few minutes more sleep.

Feeding Lions in Zimbabwe, Africa – Shane Cleminson – Guest Photographer

Survival of the fittest

Feeding Lions in Zimbabwe, Africa – Shane Cleminson – Guest Photographer.